Longing For You (Never Too Late Book 1) Read online

  They reached her front door and she unlocked it quietly. When she turned to him, her green eyes seeking his in the moonlight, all thoughts disappeared from his mind.

  The only thing that existed was her.

  His Jess.

  "I had a really good time."

  "Good second first date?" he asked, trying to be lighthearted, wanting so much more than he had any right to ask.

  "The best," she smiled back at him, narrowing her eyes playfully. "Though, nothing really beats miniature golfing." He chuckled.

  "I actually checked to see if the place was still running, but they tore it down three years ago," he admitted. "Guess Shelly was right. I'm not very original."

  "You are in your own way." She put her hand on his chest, making his heart rate pick up when he saw the look in her eyes. She licked her lower lip and tilted her head up. "Would you like to come in for coffee or a nightcap?"

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jess

  She was afraid of how cheesy she sounded, but she was a grown woman. She could do this. She'd dated sparsely after her divorce. Though to be honest, she hadn’t gone on anything more than a third date with anyone, much less invited them in. This was different, though. This was the man she had loved with every bit of her soul many years ago.

  His hand lifted to caress the side of her face, her eyes transfixed by the way his Adam's apple bobbed slightly.

  "I'd like that." She wanted to jump for joy and throw up at the same time. "But before I go in there, we need to get something straight."

  "Okay," she whispered cautiously, worried about what he had to say.

  “We’re going to go in. We’re going to have a drink. We’re going to sit and talk on your couch. Shit, baby, we’re even going to make out.”

  "Okay." She liked his plan. She wanted to continue what they started yesterday morning.

  "I'm not done, Jess." The seriousness of his voice made her lock eyes with him. "I'm spending the night with you and we’re going to mess around. What we are not going to do is go all the way."

  "Scott..."

  "I can't risk messing this up with you, not again. So I'm not rushing that part of us. I'll be honest with you. I've been hard since the moment I saw you at brunch, walking in all flustered.” He shook his head. “Seeing you again was like a sucker punch to the gut and a breath of fresh air at the same time."

  "You saw me?" Her voice was soft in wonder.

  He'd seen her?

  "Before Drew noticed you were there," he confirmed, his forehead touching hers as he leaned in closer. "When he got up and I realized who you were, I hurried to the bathroom, scared, my heart beating like a jackhammer, babe."

  A small giggle escaped and her eyes became wet. Gosh, she was such a sap.

  "My appointment is pretty early, what about clothes and—“

  "I have a duffel bag in my truck." He shrugged. "I didn't want to be presumptuous, but I did hope."

  "Hope, huh?"

  "And prayed..." he smiled against her mouth. She kissed him, loving the way he kissed her back. "So, are those conditions okay with you?" His husky voice made her swollen lips tingle.

  "Is there room for negotiations?" she asked, sounding like a wanton slut but she didn't care.

  "Maybe," he retorted, nipping her lower lip only to lick it afterwards.

  Scott

  "No conditions tonight, Scott." His body froze at her whispered words, something in her voice bothering him.

  "Baby..." he started to say, but she lifted her fingers to his lips, her eyes burning into his. So many things were playing behind her jewel-toned stare.

  "Tomorrow might bring..." her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. He waited for her to finish sharing what he sensed was important to her, though he had an idea what it might be. "Tomorrow might bring a lot of other obstacles. As great as you are, you might not want to take them on and I would understand completely."

  "Jess," he mumbled against her fingers, but she shook her head.

  "It would be okay. I would understand. Really, I would. But…I want you tonight, in case… " her voice was thick with emotion. He gently took her hand and kissed her wrist before pulling her closer.

  "Do you think I would’ve told Drew what I told him today without considering every possibility?"

  "It's..."

  "It's not going to be easy, but rarely anything worthwhile is, babe." A tear escaped and he wiped it away with his thumb. "I'm not going anywhere. I know you have no reason to trust in me, but I'm telling you, I'm not leaving. Good news or bad news, either way, I'm glued to your side. Until you tell me to leave," he vowed. She looked at him like she really wanted to believe him. One day, he knew she would.

  "This is exactly why I want this condition set in place before we go in, Jess." He kissed the tip of her nose. She wrapped her arms around him. "This isn't the only night we have. I promise." He felt her nod against his chest and he took a step back, kissing her lips quickly before she opened the door and they went inside.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jess

  Sunlight filtered into her bedroom, stirring her from the best sleep of her life. Blinking her eyes open, she stared at the beautiful tan skin and dark chest hair beneath her widely splayed hand. His skin was warm and soft, her fingertips grazing his flesh as she drew random little patterns with feather light touches. She didn’t want to wake him.

  Taking a chance, she glanced up at his face. Intense and very awake eyes looked back at her, making her skin warm.

  "Morning," his sleepy voice rumbled, making her shiver.

  He had been true to his word the night before. Except for the drink. They’d skipped that part and had gone straight to the couch, where they proceeded to make out like horny high school kids. A small smile played on her lips as she spotted the purple mark she'd left on his chest.

  "Morning," she whispered back. He growled, making her squeal, as he flipped her onto her back, his sexy body over hers, his hands linked with hers over her head.

  "I want you," he told her, rolling his hips, pushing his hardness against her. She squirmed beneath him, opening her legs wider, giving him better access and herself the ability to rub against him in just the right spot.

  "I want you too," she barely got the words out before he leaned in and kissed her. Her legs tightened around his waist, and he let go of her hands. She didn’t waste time holding on to the strong muscles of his shoulders.

  "Tonight," he whispered against her mouth as she ran her fingers through his dark hair, noting the slight graying around his temples and how much she liked it.

  "Promise?" she asked, her hands holding either side of his face. She needed this. She needed something good to look forward to. She needed his promise as much as she needed air to survive. As sleep faded away, her mind reminded her of the day ahead. "Promise me, Scott, no matter what, you'll be back tonight?"

  "I promise." His sincere tone made her smile softly.

  "I'm scared, and if those test results come back…” he shook his head and kissed her diligently, taking his time, and she let herself get lost in it.

  Scott

  "No matter what happens today, I promise I'll be back in this bed tonight," he whispered, meaning every word. "Now, go get ready. I'll start breakfast after I grab my bag from the truck."

  "Okay," she agreed, and he kissed her once more.

  ***

  Two hours.

  What was the point of making a damn appointment if doctors ran behind or receptionists added patients in between patients? One hundred and twenty minutes, four magazines, two cups of lousy coffee, and one episode of The Golden Girls. He was anxious.

  His knee bounced nervously as he held Jess’ hand. He was literally a ball of nerves, ready to implode, yet as he glanced over at Jess he couldn't help but admire her. Anyone looking at her would think she was calm and collected. Unaffected.

  "Promise me," the unsteady tone in her voice this morning had killed him. He would have found a wa
y to give her the moon if she’d asked.

  But she hadn't.

  The only thing she’d asked was for him to return to her bed. He mentally shook his head, his mind full of the last twenty-four hours. Sleeping with her had been like heaven. Never in the whole time they'd been together had they slept in one another's arms for an entire night. Never had they woken up, tangled up with the other to the morning sun.

  She placed a hand on his knee and their eyes met. Something behind hers made him stop bouncing his knee. He wasn't sure what it was, but he covered her hand with his and squeezed it tightly. She gifted him with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, but it was something.

  She was scared.

  How she sat there like she was waiting to get her hair done was beyond him, like it was no big deal. How had she gone through all this alone the first time around? He opened his mouth to say something, but his phone rang, interrupting his thought. She nodded at him. Standing up, he leaned over and kissed her forehead before stepping out of the waiting room.

  "Kostas," he answered without looking at his caller ID.

  "Scott?" the familiar male tone spoke. He took a deep breath.

  "Drew, hey, you okay?"

  "Yeah. I was actually calling to see how mom was."

  "We're still waiting."

  "What! But it's been two hours?"

  "I know."

  "Shit. They make you wait that long?"

  "Look, son...."

  "She went through waiting this long alone?" Drew asked.

  "Son. She's okay. She's calm and collected."

  "It's an act," Drew muttered and he frowned, his gaze going toward the waiting room, his eyes landing on Jess and the lost look in her empty stare. Drew was right.

  "What helps?" he asked, watching her from afar, his chest aching.

  "What?"

  "What helps her calm down? To get her to relax?" His eyes never left her, his whole body on alert with nervous energy he couldn't seem to cage or rein in. The line went silent for a moment until Drew cleared his throat.

  "Candy bars. Anything with chocolate," Drew shared. Scott spotted a vending machine.

  "Thanks, Drew. I promise she’ll call you the moment we are out. Okay?"

  "Okay."

  Jess

  There was a heaviness in her heart she couldn't shake. She'd felt it the last time too, but this time it was much worse.

  Closing her eyes and breathing in, she tried not to let the dread of what these results might mean get to her, tried not to think about all the beautiful things in life she might miss out on if the results were bad. If the cancer was back.

  But as much as she tried, the thoughts just kept bombarding her, flooding her mind.

  What if it was worse this time? What if her days were numbered? Would she miss Chrissy's graduation? Would she miss Drew and Chloe’s wedding? Would she miss witnessing Chrissy meet her other half? Would she miss out on the love and joy of becoming a grandmother?

  Her heart thundered against her chest, her fear suddenly greater as she glanced at Scott's back at vending machine.

  Would she miss her second chance with him?

  With too much swirling inside her like a hurricane to stay seated, she stood up and walked out of the semi-crowded room. She had no idea where she was going. She just knew she had to move. To keep moving.

  Someone grabbed her wrist gently, making her look up.

  "Hey, where are you going?" Scott's voice asked. Everything in front of her went blurry.

  She was dizzy and so damn scared she felt it everywhere: from the tips of her toes to the ends of her eyelashes, she radiated fear.

  "Jess?" his deep voice called her. "Breathe, Jess...Look at me, baby." His voice rumbled in her ear and she looked at him, struggling to take in a deep breath, his face coming into focus after a few seconds.

  "I got you," he reassured her, leaning into her. Her head went to the crook of his neck and she breathed, letting his familiar scent soothe her.

  She watched him open his mouth. “Jess…” but he stopped as his head turned and she followed his gaze.

  A pretty twenty-something in soft pink scrubs opened the door nearby.

  “Jess Logan?” she called and Jess nodded. The nurse smiled. “We’re ready for you.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Scott

  He always thought he was the kind of man who could keep his cool under any circumstance. He had always been complimented regarding his patience and coolheadedness.

  That wasn’t the case today.

  After two hours of waiting, they finally called her back. She shocked him, holding on to his hand tightly, pulling him to follow her. He stood quietly as the nurse weighed Jess, took her blood pressure, and placed them in another room, this one smaller than the waiting room, but thankfully it had a window. A window she was staring out of. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

  “Jess?”

  “Yeah?” She turned to look at him, her face pale. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out an Almond Joy. She smiled at him, and he was immediately glad he’d asked Drew for advice.

  He handed it to her and she opened it, offering him a piece. She took a bite of hers and closed her eyes in delight.

  “Thanks,” she looked at him with appreciation in her eyes, but he could still see the clouded fear. Before he could try to reassure her, someone knocked at the door and a young man popped his head in.

  “Jess?”

  “Hi, Dr. Douglas.” Doctor? The guy looked too young to have graduated from college, much less medical school. Scott frowned as the ‘kid’ smiled at Jess a little too friendly for his liking.

  “I’m really sorry about the wait, Jess,” Doogie Howser apologized. Scott watched Jess shrug silently then moved closer to her side. Whatever this kid was going to say, he wanted to be next to her. He would hold her hand no matter what and he would be by her side.

  “Hello,” the doctor greeted him, extending his hand.

  “Dr. Douglas, this is Scott Kostas…” Jess started to introduce them, but Scott spoke up.

  “Her boyfriend,” he cut in, shaking the kid’s hand and then wrapping his arm around Jess’ shoulder, her green eyes looking up at him with a small smile.

  “I’m glad you brought someone with you,” the doctor said, and Scott watched the little color she had fade from Jess’ face. He felt steel injected into his spine.

  “Oh,” she mumbled.

  “So you have someone to go celebrate with,” the child doctor smiled at her. “Jess, everything looks great.”

  A wave of relief washed over Scott and he couldn’t help grabbing her tightly as her tears burned through his shirt.

  “I’ll give you two a moment,” the doctor muttered, closing the door behind him.

  “Jess. Talk to me.”

  “I’m okay,” she told him, tears still running down her face but a bright smile lighting her green eyes.

  “Hell yeah, you are!” he remarked, squeezing her tightly, not wanting to ever let her go.

  Jess

  He held her hand the entire drive home while she spoke to Drew, Chrissy, and Shelly. Each one them was relieved, happy, and asking to come see her. Drew even apologized for the way he’d reacted.

  “I know, honey. I love you too,” she told her son as she stepped out of Scott’s truck. Ending the call, she looked at Scott, who was standing in front of her, his face suddenly very serious.

  “Hey,” her hand cupped his jaw as she tried to read his expression.

  “Do you still want me here?” he asked, catching her off guard.

  “What?”

  “You were worried about me wanting to stick around if things were not okay. Now that you know everything is okay, do you still want me here? With you?” His husky, deep voice held a slight tremble. She lifted her other hand, holding him close.

  “I want you here,” she told him, and she did. She wanted him here or anywhere as long as she was with him.

  “It’
s not going to be easy,” he reminded her and she smiled.

  “Someone once told me anything worth having wouldn’t be.”

  “I’m serious, Jessie.” She watched his Adam’s apple bob, his eyes unable to meet hers. “I’ve changed, but I’m still stubborn and …”

  “And that’s okay with me. I loved how stubborn you were,” she shared and his eyes flew to hers. She giggled softly at the surprise she saw in them.

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. I liked how stubborn you were, especially when you truly believed in whatever you were holding your ground on,” she shared, and he closed his eyes almost as if in relief before leaning into her touch.

  The expression on his face made her heart melt. She closed the small space between them and kissed him, starting slow, building a fire within her. Within them both.

  “Come on,” her lips on his, her voice was breathless.

  Their eyes met, his hand slid away from her hip and grabbed hold of her hand. They walked to her door. It was a little past noon, the sun shining brightly behind them. She looked at him, feeling for the first time in a long time like she could finally breathe.

  And she knew deep down inside, no matter what, everything was going to be okay.

  Chapter Twenty

  Scott

  Neither one of them said a word as she unlocked the door and he held it open for her. The moment he closed the door behind him, she grabbed his hand and looked up at him. No one had looked at him that way, not in thirty-five years. Not since her.