Zaiden Read online

  “It’s getting cold.” His deep voice broke the serene silence that had enveloped us. Propping myself up on an elbow, I grinned up at him.

  “Not up for the job of keeping us warm, old man?” I teased, trying to ignore the questions that were building with every breath I took. His manly brows scrunched together playfully.

  “You’re going to pay for that,” he darkly promised, and I bit the bottom of my lip, my mind running wild with how fun that would be.

  How the hell did this happen? I wondered to myself.

  “Promises, promises,” I whispered and didn’t miss the way his eyes gleamed with dark thoughts before he kissed me so passionately I almost forgot my name.

  “Let’s get back to the cabin. I’ll show you old man,” he whispered against my lips, and I nodded.

  He stood first, tagging his boxers, and I watched his very impressive body move and flex as he slipped into them before I quickly picked up mine.

  “Michele?” he called out to me, and my eyes met his. I had a blanket covering my breasts. I let it fall. The husky groan that escaped him made me feel powerful in a very feminine way.

  “Help me up?” I asked, extending my hand, and he took it, pulling me to my feet before kneeling in front of me.

  “Z?”

  “Shhh...” His lips kissed my thighs and my knees as he adjusted my panties over my ass and hips. “I should keep these as a souvenir,” he muttered against my skin. I shivered.

  “Is that your kink? You have a box full of discarded undies somewhere?” I asked playfully, but then wondered if that was true. Will I end up being one of the many? I shook my head. I needed to stop thinking like that. Even if I was, I was determined to enjoy whatever the hell it was that was going on.

  “Not even close.”

  “What?” I asked as my eyes met his.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” he ordered without any other explanation before he continued to help me get dressed. He even placed kisses on the tops of my feet before helping me put my shoes back on.

  Back on his feet, he pulled me into his arms. I looked up at him, enjoying the feeling of closeness and protection.

  “I’ve never felt what I feel now, with you, Michele.” His words took me by surprise.

  “Friendship?” I asked, trying not to let a flicker of hope light up inside of me.

  “More than friendship. More than just some woman I was attracted to and needed to fuck.”

  “Classy.”

  “I’m being honest, baby.”

  “Baby,” I repeated. The way he sounded every time he said it made my heart flip in my chest. “That soft baby is dangerous,” I confessed, and he grinned and grabbed my hand.

  “You like it,” he noted, his eyes softening, and I shrugged without answering.

  We walked hand in hand toward the cabin.

  With every step closer to the house, my skin warmed and prickled with desire. I knew what was going to happen the moment we arrived, and I couldn’t wait.

  “Baby,” he said again just steps from the beautiful cabin in a tone I’d never heard, and it stopped me in my tracks. “I need you in my life, Michele,” he proclaimed.

  “I am in your life,” I responded, and he kissed my hand. “Working with someone else won’t change that.” I needed to make that clear.

  “I guess.” He shrugged, looking away from me. I knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but I couldn’t lie. We kept walking and reached the door when he grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me. It was hard and wet, so damn deep it made me yearn for more.

  “Zaiden?” I breathed when he pulled away.

  “This. Today. This isn’t me playing games, Michele,” he offered. I didn’t know what to say, and thankfully he kept speaking.

  “What?”

  “This is more. Between us. What we have is amazing.”

  “I know. “

  “This is the beginning of something.”

  “I like that.” I smiled and leaned into his body, letting my nose graze his.

  “I need to tell you something,” he said. I looked into his eyes, waiting for his next words.

  “Hey, you two!” I turned and was shocked when I saw Andy.

  “Hey,” Zaiden muttered, not letting go of me but moving me to his side. “This is not the time, man.”

  “After talking yesterday, I needed to stop by and let you know Ka Lama loved your idea! I just sent them the specs of this place. They loved it. I didn’t think they would go for it, but they ate it up, Z!” Andy shared, handing a file and an envelope to Zaiden.

  “This guy is something, right?” Andy smiled too brightly, but Z’s demeanor was beyond serious.

  “Andy,” Zaid tried to cut him off, but Andy was a charmer and a big talker, and he was oblivious to Zaiden’s warnings, though I wasn’t.

  “Though, I guess this means you and I won’t have our chance now, will we?” Andy grinned and shrugged, making me stiffen in Zaid’s embrace. “You lose some, you win some. But if you don’t mind, maybe after Christmas, you can send me Luna Garcia’s number?’

  “Luna’s number?” I croaked, suddenly cold.

  “I’ve heard amazing shit about her. I’m going to need someone to replace you, after all.”

  “Replace me?” I repeated in a whisper and pulled my body away from Zaid’s embrace.

  “Z insisted, and honestly, I thought he had lost his mind, but seeing you two together now, it makes sense. I’m sure Wright will understand. “

  “What did you do?” I questioned Zaiden, finding it difficult to breathe.

  “I didn’t—”

  “It wasn’t a big deal, and honestly, he is getting the best part of the deal. I mean, he has you, right?”

  “You traded the Ka Lama deal with Andy?” I blustered.

  “Shit.” Andy’s curse broke the heavy silence. “Z, man, I thought you two—”

  “I think you have said enough,” Zaiden interrupted him without looking away from me. He never took his eyes from me as my heart raced in my chest.

  “Michele, he was just—”

  “You purposely high-jacked my job?” I asked Zaid, ignoring Andy altogether.

  “I didn’t—”

  “I don’t know why I’m surprised.” I laughed humorlessly, adding more space between us. “I shouldn’t be. You will always do anything to get what you want.”

  “Michele, baby—”

  “Don’t call me that,” I snapped. Fury and hurt washed through me and mixed into one another.

  “I will just get out of your way, so you two lovebirds can talk.” Andy smartly stepped back. “I’m sorry, man,” he winced his apology at Zaiden before walking off to his car and driving away.

  “It’s not what you think,” Z broke the silence that clung to the air.

  “Isn’t it?” I looked at the beautiful home. “Whose place is this?”

  “Ours,” he answered. My head turned quickly toward him at that answer.

  “What?”

  “I want you to give this a chance.”

  “So you traded my job with an account? Is that what I’m worth?”

  “Michele, baby, it’s not what you think—”

  “You know you’re not the only photographer I can work with, right?”

  “You’re mine,” he growled, grabbing my hand and pulling me into him.

  “So you pay God knows how much to set up the perfect date and then buy this place? For us?” I asked, incredulous to what I was hearing.

  “Yes!”

  “Even though we haven’t even been on one damn date together?”

  “That’s not true,” he bit back, and I raised an eyebrow.

  “Really? We’ve been on dates?”

  “Countless ones,” he growled.

  “Where the hell have I been, huh? Because last time I checked, this thing between us came out of freaking no—”

  “The theater in London. Broadway in New York. That little art gallery by the airport in Costa Rica
. Having to buy soaps in that little shop, three blocks from the Eiffel Tower in Paris,” he bit out, and I stilled.

  Each place was a memory.

  A moment shared between just the two of us throughout the last two years.

  “All those goddamn coffee shops you drag me to in New York and LA because Yelp says we should. Goddamn it, Michele, we’ve traveled the freaking world together,” he pointed out.

  “And half the time, I assumed you only half-tolerated me!”

  “That’s on me, and I get that! But actions speak louder than words,” he hissed, rendering me speechless. I thought back to the countless moments that had tempted me into believing meant more but I had been too afraid to believe could be more.

  “You think you will ever meet someone else who knows you like I do?” he questioned.

  “You don’t know—”

  “I know you.” His nose flared, and his mouth hovered over mine. “Who else knows that you hate the first ten minutes of takeoff and have to sit silently while you cut the fucking circulation off my hand before you can let yourself relax? Who else knows the first thing you have to do when you get to a new place is unpack? How you use the drawers in hotels like they’re your home?”

  “That’s what they are for!” I exclaimed, and he pulled me even closer.

  “I know you better than anyone else. Give me this chance.”

  “You got me fired!”

  “Technically, you never worked for him.”

  “Zaid.”

  “I don’t want you to leave me!” he said, but his words didn’t penetrate. I was too stuck in my own head to think of what he was saying.

  “Have you thought of why I wanted to go?” I asked.

  “Because you have feelings for me.”

  “Yes! Fine.” I gritted my teeth. “I care about you in an unprofessional way, and that was one reason. But I need to be more than your right-hand woman, Z! This was a great opportunity for me to work on other films in the future! Marcus Wright’s production company was a great place for me to put my foot in the door!”

  “But we are just starting!” he roared, but he didn’t frighten me. “How can you want to leave for New Zealand?”

  “How do you know I wouldn’t have called Andy myself and dropped the job? You don’t. You didn’t give me the chance.”

  “Why are we arguing if this is what you would have done anyhow? We can—”

  “We aren’t anything.” The words sounded wrong in my head and tasted worse in my mouth, but they hung between us. “You can’t throw money at me and expect me to stay, Z.”

  “Michele,” he said my name, the defeat loud and clear in his voice.

  He wouldn’t fight for me.

  I knew he would let me walk away.

  “Whatever you did with Andy, undo it,” I argued despite not wanting the job anymore.

  “What about us?” he rasped hoarsely.

  “There is no us,” I repeated, and again it wasn’t right. My heart ached and a voice in my head was yelling at me to stop and think, but I couldn’t. I pulled my body away from his, and he let me.

  “How can you say that? After what just happened...”

  “It was sex,” I pointed out to him, and his brows narrowed, lines forming on his forehead. “That’s all. We had this attraction building up—”

  “Don’t.” He grabbed me again, pulling me close into his body, his hands on my forearms. “Don’t turn what we just shared into something tawdry and ugly.”

  “Why not? You did! You did that by playing games.”

  “I swear I wasn’t—”

  “I want to go home,” I interrupted, needing to be anywhere but with him.

  “You are home. This place. It’s like the one you told me about.”

  “My home.” My eyes drifted to his chest. It hurt too much to look at him.

  “Baby...”

  “What was the point of all this today, Zaiden?”

  “What?”

  “Lying to me about a photo shoot, the picnic, this house that’s straight from my dreams.”

  “It was for you. I wanted...”

  “What?“

  “I wanted you to know how much you mean to me. I wanted you to...” My eyes were pinned to his manly Adam’s apple as it bobbed up and down.

  “You wanted me to what?” I asked, silently praying he would say he loved me. Tell me, give me a hint of what this was all for. The long run of his plans.

  I knew Zaiden. And even as un-Zaiden as he had acted today, he always had a plan.

  “I wanted you to care.” Care. And just like that, I was like a flower in the heat of a summer’s day, wilted and sad.

  “Because you care? About me?” I asked him, still holding on to hope he felt more than just friendship.

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t believe you.” I sighed, my heart shattered under his feet. “I think you were just afraid of losing your employee.”

  “No, Michele.” He shook his head, and my shoulders slumped forward.

  “I want to go home. Please,” I whispered. He held me close, but I didn’t hold him back, my arms hanging limp at my side. Everything hurt. He had used my painfully obvious crush on him against me.

  “Okay,” he finally said against my hair, letting my body go but keeping his hand in mine. “I’ll take you back.”

  I knew he wouldn’t fight to make me believe something more had happened than what it had been.

  Because more with Zaiden wouldn’t happen.

  Not even on perfect dream-like days.

  Zaiden

  He opened the car door, and she slipped in without a second glance his way. He closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer to a higher power.

  He walked to the driver’s side on unsteady feet and folded his body in, then started the car.

  “Michele—” he tried to say, but she simply shook her head and pulled her face away from his and toward the window.

  “Just drive, Zaiden. Please.”

  With every mile they left the cabin behind, the heavier his heart grew. When he had bought the place six months ago, it had been purchased with her in mind. He had been a stubborn bastard about admitting it even to himself. That’s why he hadn’t shared it with her. Only with Andy, who lived up the road.

  Andy and his big fucking mouth. It wasn’t his fault. Not if Zaiden was being honest with himself. This was all on him.

  Time flew by too quickly and his mind scrambled too long to come up with the right words. Pulling up to her house, he locked the doors just as she was about to open the door.

  “Zaid,” she bit, but he wasn’t going to let her leave without saying his piece.

  “I care about you. I care so much it scares the hell out of me. I fucked up, Michele,” he admitted. She slowly glanced in his direction with guarded eyes. “It isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last time I’ll mess shit up, but you have to know that today was supposed to be all about you.”

  “So I would stay put and keep working for you?” she bit back angrily, and as much as her distrust hurt, he deserved it.

  “Yes and no,” he shared honestly. “I just… I wanted us to move to the next level. Take what we have and build something bigger.”

  “You could have just talked to me. You didn’t have to make back alley deals with Andy.”

  “It wasn’t like that. He came by yesterday and—”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she cut him off and didn’t let him explain.

  “But it does. Damn it, baby… I…” The words were right there.

  Three little words he had never uttered to a woman other than family.

  “You care. We’re friends. You were right. We are best of friends, but just because we are doesn’t mean I can’t go and explore other jobs.”

  “Fine!” He was frustrated and couldn’t seem to shake the fear he’d royally messed things up beyond repair. “Go to New Zealand and leave me.” It wasn’t like she was suggesting he go with her. Even if his calendar w
as filled for the next year, he would drop every job he had to follow her. He’d follow her anywhere.

  She looked at him and blinked away tears he could see were on the brink of falling. It hurt to watch. It burned his gut and made him want to wipe them away, but he didn’t. Instead, he sat there and watched her open and close her mouth before looking away.

  “Today…” Her voice was sad and soft, and his heart lurched to his throat. She held his entire life in her hands, and he doubted she even knew it. “Today was beautiful. Thank you. But I think we both know this isn’t what you want. Not at the end of the day. No matter how much I could wish it was. You’re afraid of losing me as a friend, and I care a hell of a lot more than what’s considered friendly.” And with that, she opened the door to his car and left him dumbfounded.

  She thought he only saw her as a friend?

  Michele

  Opening my eyes, I sighed. My alarm clock said it was way too late, but I had to get up.

  After Zaiden had dropped me off, I had gone straight to my room and cried my eyes out. So many dreams gone. While the promise of something bigger with him had been so close, I had let it slip through my fingers.

  “Merry Christmas Eve to me,” I muttered into my empty bedroom before sitting up and glancing at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and my hair was a mess. Great.

  I stood and walked out of my room and headed directly to the Christmas tree, where I turned the lights on and shut off every other light in the house, determined to feel something other than heartache. It was a few minutes away from it being officially Christmas, and I was determined to make the best of the situation.

  Lighting my fireplace, I winced at the ache between my legs and felt myself flush. I could still feel him, and if I closed my eyes, I could feel his hands touching me as they explored my body. I couldn’t get myself to regret it. I had wanted him for so long; every dirty daydream had revolved around him, yet it hadn’t held a candle to the reality of him.

  Zaiden and his games.

  I wrapped my arms around myself as the fire crackled and popped. Why was it all a game with him? I didn’t want to feel like another notch on his bedpost. After only one time with him, I knew no other man would come close. He’d ruined me. And I wished I could hate him for it.