Longing For You (Never Too Late Book 1) Read online

  “I’ve never been able to say no to Italian food.” Thank Christ that hadn't changed.

  “Don’t start now,” he told her, grazing her cheekbone with his thumb.

  “Did you really cook?” she asked with a soft, breathy tone. He nodded.

  “Yes.” Stroking her hair gently, he looked at her. “Don’t go. I’ll behave. Just don’t go.” She looked down as if thinking hard. He knew she was trying to come up with a reason why she couldn’t stay. He didn’t want her to walk away, but he wasn’t sure exactly why he needed to keep her close

  He wanted time with her, even if she was hesitant, and he was not above begging. She squeezed his hand and looked up at him, surprising him for the third time that night.

  “Okay,” she mumbled, pressing her lips together. Relief washed over him and he smiled back at her.

  Chapter Seven

  Jess

  She walked into her dark quiet townhome, set her purse on the kitchen counter, and went to the phone. Three messages blinked on her landline. She wasn’t sure why she kept it, mostly for the kids. She pressed play and sat on the tall stool at her breakfast counter.

  “Hey mom, it’s Chrissy! I heard you met Chloe’s dad yesterday… how did that go? Anyhow, I wanted to let you know I can't come this weekend. Dad and Nancy have this thing they want me to go to with them, but I promise to head down next weekend. Or if you are up for it, you can come up here sometime during the week. I had really awesome tips last weekend at work so either way, movie, my treat?” her daughter said, her voice hesitant. “I don’t like you all alone. Maybe Drew and Chloe can stop by this weekend or something. Okay…love you!”

  Chrissy, her daughter and worry wart. She was younger than Drew and was away at college. She had also been the one to move back home when her kids had found out. Chrissy had taken her to countess doctor’s appointments and her chemo and dealing with the side effects of each round, all while going to school part-time and Jess worried it had made her sweet daughter grow up too quickly.

  “Hey, Jess...umm it’s Chloe. I just wanted to say thank you for meeting my Dad. He really liked you. He kept asking me a ton of stuff about you. Anyhow, Chrissy called. She feels terrible about not being able to make it home this weekend. If you’d like, we can BBQ or get take-out sometime this weekend. Maybe go to a movie? Drew said he’s up for it. Okay. Let me know!”

  Chloe was a great girl and she loved her like her own, but she just couldn’t believe her future daughter-in-law was Scott Kosta’s daughter. Her Scott. And she’d made out with him! What had she been thinking? She hadn’t. She never had when it came to Scott and that was her problem.

  “Hey, Jess. Listen, Nancy and I are throwing this shindig at the house and we’d love to have Chrissy here. Don’t know if you’ve talked to her. I know she was planning on going over to your place this weekend. I forgot to mention it to her sooner. I’m sorry if this messes with your plans. I really am. Hope you’re doing okay, Hun. I’ll try you later,” Kevin said into the machine.

  She smiled, picking up her phone.

  “Mom?” Chrissy whispered into her ear.

  “Yeah baby. You busy?”

  “At the library, one sec,” Chrissy whispered and Jess stood up. She could hear shuffling and whispering and more shuffling as she walked over to the cabinet, taking out a glass.

  “Hey, Mom, sorry about that. Did you get my message?”

  “Yeah, baby, don’t worry about it. Have fun at your Dad and Nancy’s, ‘kay?”

  “You sure? I mean I could tell them I can’t…”

  “It’s fine. It’s less of a drive for you, more fun even.” She opened the fridge, took out the Brita pitcher, and filled her glass, the phone wedged in the crook of her neck.

  “Will you go to Drew’s?”

  “No, honey. I’m fine. It’s been a crazy work week. I’ll go get a pedicure. Maybe call your Aunt Shelly, talk her into going to dinner or something. Plus, you know how I like to go to the farmer’s market on Sundays. I'll probably do that too. ”

  “Promise?”

  “Baby, I’m okay. Seriously.” Chrissy worried and it was her fault. Jess hadn’t been honest with her kids and she should have been.

  “I know…I just…last time you were alone, and everything happened…”

  “Chrissy…I’m good, baby,” the reassurance slipped from her mouth without thinking. She needed Chrissy to relax. Jess closed her eyes. It wasn’t as if she was actually lying. She just didn’t have the results yet. “Now go study, get a drink later, flirt with a boy and have fun. Stop worrying about me. I promised you and Drew I would never keep a secret like that to myself again. Right?” And she wouldn't. If something were wrong, she’d tell them.

  “Right,” Chrissy whispered.

  “Go be twenty-one,” Jess told her daughter, smiling and sipping from her water glass, remembering her life at twenty-one and trying not to frown as her thoughts turned to Scott again.

  “Okay. Love you, Mom.”

  “Love you more. Shoot me a text when you get to Dad’s and back to school. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Jess ended the call, still standing in her dark kitchen.

  She wasn’t going to think about how she might have lied to her daughter. And she especially wasn’t going to think about her night. She wasn’t. Nope. She was not going to think about Scott and the delicious dinner or the hot kiss they’d shared. Nope. She was sure as heck not going to think about how he’d walked her to her car, kissed her lightly on the lips, and how not thinking about that kiss made her lips tingle. Nope. She was going to go to bed and go straight to sleep.

  She climbed the stairs without realizing she was smiling.

  Chapter Eight

  Scott

  The work week was finally over and it was Saturday. Chloe had stopped by and was in the kitchen fixing up lunch. He was sitting in his living room when the door opened. He tilted his head to look, smiling at Drew as he walked into the house.

  "Hey, Scott!"

  "Hey, son," he said, standing and giving his future son-in-law a pat on the back.

  He watched his daughter walk into the living room, her eyes soft and sweet as she looked at them. He looked away when Drew and Chloe kissed and turned on the television, put on ESPN, and sat back down, letting his tired body melt into the comfortable couch. His attention went in and out, listening to Chloe and Drew’s conversation as well as the television until Drew brought up his mom.

  "Wait, what's wrong?" Scott asked, trying not to sound too interested.

  "My sister’s worried about my mom. I think Chrissy’s just being overly dramatic..."

  "What happened?"

  "Chris said she feels like something is up with her."

  "I'm sure it's nothing," he said, trying to bite away a smile. Jess was probably thinking about him.

  "That's what I said, but..."

  "But?"

  "Last time mom was acting like this something was actually really wrong," the transparent worry in Drew’s voice made Scott sit up straighter and watch the young man carefully.

  "What do you mean?" He felt his bones chill.

  "Dad, Drew might not be comfortable..."

  "It's okay, Chlo," Drew said. Chloe moved to cuddle into him on the couch. "She was sick."

  It felt like his body froze suspended in time. His Jess had been sick?

  "What do you mean?" An ugly twist in his gut was eating at him.

  "Two years ago my mom found out she had breast cancer and didn't tell anyone."

  "What?" Scott whispered, trying to process what he’d heard.

  "They caught it early. She had a mastectomy and a couple of rounds of chemo."

  "Without telling you guys?" he asked and watched Chloe hold Drew’s arm, giving him strength to talk about it.

  “We didn’t find out until after her second round of chemo. Even then it was only because she got really sick. I happened to stop by that day and found her unconscious on the kitchen floor, burni
ng up. I rushed her to the hospital"

  "Why?"

  “What?”

  “Why wouldn't she tell you guys?” He couldn’t help asking. How had her kids not noticed?

  "My dad was having a new kid with his new wife, Chrissy was starting college...I don't know, she had all these excuses for why she didn't tell anyone."

  "And your sister is worried that..."

  "That it's back." Three words and his stomach clenched.

  Jess had been sick. She'd battled breast cancer, for Christ sake, and he hadn’t known. He could see her pulling shit like that. Keeping it to herself, not telling anyone. She wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone. Was that happening now? Was that why she didn’t want to give him a chance?

  Fuck.

  ****

  Jess

  Every single window was open in her townhome, causing a breeze that felt nice. Jess walked barefoot to the kitchen, wearing light blue cotton drawstring pajama pants, a white camisole with soft lace at the top, and an old, thick, off-white, knitted cardigan, which brought her a comfort she relished. She grabbed a mug and filled it with freshly brewed coffee. Adding a splash of milk, she stirred it with a leftover candy cane from Christmas.

  She glanced at the clock when a knock came at the door. It was before seven on a Sunday morning. She was only up this early because she was having a tough time getting restful sleep.

  Walking to her door, the doorbell chimed and another soft knock came. She opened it without looking through the peephole, surprised at who was at her door.

  "Scott?"

  "Jess..."

  "Oh my God, the kids, are they...."

  “What? Geez, no. Chloe and Drew are fine. Relax," Scott said, his eyes narrowed on her. She could feel them roaming her body, and for a third time in a very long time, her body heated. Her skin tingled and warmth pooled at her center. Coincidentally, the other two times that had happened had also been around him. She was just not going to think about that right now.

  They stood, staring at one another, no one saying a word; that was until a strong breeze blew into the room and she got the chills.

  "Would you like to come in? It's cold out there."

  “Yeah, thanks,” he said and walked into her place. She closed and locked the door behind her.

  “What can I do for you, Scott?”

  “Jess…” he started to say but stopped.

  He took a step back and looked at her, his eyes roaming from her mouth down to her neck, then falling onto her chest. Her skin warmed further as she watched the funny look on his face. I was one she’d never seen. Not that she was an expert on everything Scott, but he was looking at her differently.

  Her skin immediately chilled, gooseflesh covering her skin as she realized he wasn’t checking her out. It hit her and it hurt. It stung.

  He knew.

  Shit. He knew.

  She was going to kill her son and his big mouth. Wrapping the oversized cardigan around her body, she crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted to cry. He knew and he was here to end things before they got too far, knowing that she was defective. But she was going to cut him to the chase.

  “What do you want, Scott?” Her voice was colder, her throat threatening to close up.

  “I, umm…” he at least was gracious enough to look embarrassed for his shallow behavior. “Kids were over yesterday…”

  “I know. And?” Jess was determined not to make this easy on him. Screw him.

  “Umm, well…”

  “Spit it out, Scott. It's not even seven in the morning. If the kids are fine, what brought you to my door this early?”

  “Drew told me, Jessie,” Scott blurted out. She looked at him, a serious expression on her face.

  “About?” She knew exactly what her son had told him, but she liked watching the bastard squirm.

  “Well, umm…” Scott’s face flushed in embarrassment and she shook her head.

  “That you lucked out ending things with me all those years ago? If you hadn't and we'd actually been crazy enough to go after everything we dreamed about, you might’ve ended up with a sick woman. You might’ve had to deal with breast cancer and treatments and everything those treatments came with? Is that what you found out?” Hurt and humiliation spun an ugly web inside her but she couldn’t stop. “But come on, Scott, let's be honest. If we had gotten hitched, we would’ve ended up divorced before the first year was over. So either way, it’s not your problem. Never was and it most definitely isn’t now! So if you will please…," she spewed. She hated this. She hated how angry she was, how the disappointment filled her veins.

  “What the fuck?” he whispered dangerously, and she looked into his dark eyes, except his dark eyes were bright and glittering with anger.

  “Scott…”

  “I came to tell you your kids are worried it came back. Chrissy called Drew. They’re worried you're keeping something from them,” he informed her, standing straighter, his nose flaring, but his eyes never moved from hers.

  “I am,” she blurted, her eyes going wide and her hand covering her mouth at her confession. It was easy, too easy, to admit that to him. Talking to him had always been easy. Natural.

  “What?” he asked, his hand meeting hers. The pads of his fingers mindlessly skimmed the skin at her knuckles, making her heart hurt at the countless memories she'd blocked of him repeating this exact action.

  Exactly this.

  He'd been a lot of things, some bad and some good, but what a lot of people didn't understand was he was so damn sweet. There were moments he was so tender and gentle he didn’t even know he was giving her that, and it rendered her speechless. It was crazy, she knew, but he did. He left her breathless.

  Just like right now. His soft reassuring touch melted something inside her.

  “What, babe? What are you keeping from them?” he asked, stepping closer, one hand moving to her face, his thumb grazing the hairline at her left temple. He used to do that too, when she was stressing over finals or when she had migraines from lack of sleep, juggling work, school, and life.

  “I…” she closed her eyes, trying to keep her breathing steady. The doctor's words replayed in her mind, reminding her the possibilities the cancer had returned were low, but it didn't soothe her. It could be back.

  “Babe,” she opened her eyes, and the soft look in his beautiful dark ones as well as the tone of his voice pulled her forward, completely closing the space between them, letting go of every possible reason she shouldn't do this. Her hands had a mind of their own as they reached around his neck. She stood on the tips of her toes, placing her face into of the crook of his neck.

  One of his large hands cupped the back of her head in a sweet familiar way while the other held on tightly to her waist. She pressed into his body and lord help her, he felt good. Really good. He felt familiar, but mostly he felt safe. Which was ironic because safe was the last thing he was.

  “The doctor said it might be back,” Jess whispered and his hold on her tightened.

  “Baby…”

  Baby. Why did that one word from his lips undo her? Cracking something inside of her as it simultaneously mended some of the broken bits?

  “Don't, Scott,” Jess tried to pull away, but he kept her in his arms.

  “Baby…”

  “Stop. I have…” panic surged through her. What was she doing?

  “Stop fighting it, Jess,” he growled into her neck. Her body and mind suddenly calmed, leaving her feeling confused as to why Scott’s words made her relax.

  She stopped fighting and let her body do what it instinctively wanted to do.

  Mold into his.

  He held her close. Tight. For the first time in two years, she felt safe. After a bit, he loosened his hold, but once again caught her off guard. Instead of letting her go, he picked her up as if she weighed nothing more than a throw blanket and walked them over to the couch. Sitting down in his lap, she straddled his legs. She leaned forward as if it was second nature, as
if her body recognized his, and placed her cheek on his solid shoulder. He wrapped his long, strong arms around her, pulling her body even closer.

  They stayed that way for a long moment, in the silence of the early morning. Pressed close, she could feel his heart beating in his chest, soothing her. She didn’t want the moment to end.

  Chapter Nine

  Scott

  After a while, she lifted her hand to his chest and mindlessly drew little circles, making him smile. He loved the feel of her body close to his, always had. He’d dreamt about her body just like this. His dreams had felt so real he could feel her tits pressed into him, feel her warm breath against his skin, the warmth of her limbs wrapped up in his. He closed his eyes tightly, regret churning in his gut. He could’ve had this year after year. But then, he couldn’t get himself to fully regret it.

  If he hadn’t walked away from her, he wouldn’t have his girls. Chloe and Tina were his world.

  He felt her take a deep breath and knew she was about to push him away. But she surprised him as she moved her hand from his chest to his face. His body tightened and his breathing picked up at the feel of her delicate fingertips touching the edge of his jaw. She moved her head from his shoulder and looked up at him, her beautiful face was soft while she was touching his jaw. The look she was giving him made him feel something deep, something he’d forgotten even in his vivid memories. They didn’t do her justice, because she was so much more than his heart had remembered.

  “You hungry?” Her voice was sweet and breathy. He stared at her, his eyes darkening with unbridled passion. As if she could read his mind, she bit her bottom lip. “Umm I…I mean breakfast...It's early...Umm…” she nervously stumbled along her words.

  “Yeah.” His own voice husky, he cleared his throat. “Starving.”

  “Want to go out? I usually grab crepes at the farmer’s market by the Marina,” she shared, surprising him with the invite.

  “Okay.”